Hollywood – Production was halted on the set of Ryan Goslings latest movie on Monday when six members of the film crew were overcome by the incredible handsomeness of the famous star and had to be rushed to a nearby hospital.
According to eyewitnesses, three production assistants, a makeup artist, and two grips were apparently standing in close proximity to the actor between a take and were rendered unconscious by Gosling’s amazing jawline and steely blue eyes. Always the gentleman, Gosling helped tend to the fallen crew members until paramedics arrived.
They are all expected to make a full recovery.
“This happens quite a bit during the filming of a Ryan Gosling movie, especially with people who have never worked with him before,” a production executive stated to the press outside the hospital. “They simply do not understand how damn good looking this man is. We’ve advised everyone in the cast and on the crew to refrain from looking at Ryan for any extended periods of time. Also, they are not to stand very close to him, since his handsomeness also gives off a powerful aura. That aura alone nearly killed a camera operator who was working with him on Drive.“
A representative for the very handsome Gosling said that Ryan is very sorry for what happened, and is sending each of the affected crew members a Crabtree and Evelyn gift basket and an autographed copy of The Notebook Blu Ray/DVD combo pack.
KATHERINE HEIGL, MOVIES FINALLY CALL IT QUITS
(Hollywood) After several tumultuous years full of mediocre romantic comedies and disappointing box office returns, the movie industry and actress Katherine Heigl have amicably decided to end their relationship.
“While we love and respect Miss Heigl, things simply weren’t working out with us,” the movie industry said in a brief interview on Monday morning. “We ask the media to respect ours and Miss Heigl’s privacy during this difficult time.”
People close with Miss Heigl and movies are not surprised with the breakup, sighting several incidents which strained a relationship that was shaky from the beginning. “Things with Katherine and movies were never that great,” one friend revealed. “I’m amazed they were able to stay together after The Ugly Truth and Killers. And Life as We Know It? We thought it would be the end of them right there. How they were able to work things out after that, we’ll never know.”
Another insider believes things were really over between the troubled couple after the disastrous 2012 comedy One for the Money where Miss Heigl played a wise cracking bounty hunter. “Oh God, no relationship could survive after that crapfest,” an anonymous friend sniffed. “You can tell it was over between them, but neither one of them would admit it. I’m glad the movie industry finally put a stop to this before more innocent film fans were hurt.”
Representatives for Miss Heigl said that while she is upset over the breakup she is hopeful things will bounce back for her very soon. “Katherine is still on fairly good terms with her last ex, the Television Industry. Maybe they can work things out and get back together for a new series or an original movie on Lifetime. Keep your fingers crossed!”