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KATHERINE HEIGL, MOVIES FINALLY CALL IT QUITS

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(Hollywood) After several tumultuous years full of mediocre romantic comedies and disappointing box office returns, the movie industry and actress Katherine Heigl have amicably decided to end their relationship. 

“While we love and respect Miss Heigl, things simply weren’t working out with us,” the movie industry said in a brief interview on Monday morning. “We ask the media to respect ours and Miss Heigl’s privacy during this difficult time.”

People close with Miss Heigl and movies are not surprised with the breakup, sighting several incidents which strained a relationship that was shaky from the beginning.  “Things with Katherine and movies were never that great,” one friend revealed. “I’m amazed they were able to stay together after The Ugly Truth and Killers. And Life as We Know It? We thought it would be the end of them right there. How they were able to work things out after that, we’ll never know.” 

Another insider believes things were really over between the troubled couple after the disastrous 2012 comedy One for the Money where Miss Heigl played a wise cracking bounty hunter. “Oh God, no relationship could survive after that crapfest,” an anonymous friend sniffed. “You can tell it was over between them, but neither one of them would admit it. I’m glad the movie industry finally put a stop to this before more innocent film fans were hurt.”

Representatives for Miss Heigl said that while she is upset over the breakup she is hopeful things will bounce back for her very soon. “Katherine is still on fairly good terms with her last ex, the Television Industry. Maybe they can work things out and get back together for a new series or an original movie on Lifetime.  Keep your fingers crossed!”

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About Tom Levier

Tom is a New Jersey native who lived in New York City for a while, and is now back in the Garden State. He is creator and writer of Central Park: A Misguide, DVD Critics Corner!, and The Gallows. Please read, comment on, and subscribe to his blogs. It would make him very happy. When not writing, Tom enjoys making jewelry and other handmade items for his shop Cold Garage Creations. Check out his shop on Etsy! https://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

Posted on May 27, 2013, in DVD, Fiction, Humor, Movie Reviews, Movies, Netflix, Reviews, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. You sir, have won the internet for today!

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