Murderous Space Aliens and Psychotic Androids Aside, How Was The Trip?


PROMETHEUS (2012) Director: Ridley Scott Starring: Noomi Repace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba Rating: R for science fiction violence, icky weird space gore, and good old fashioned cussing. 

You have to admit, the Star Trek movie and TV franchise make outer space look pretty darn cool.

Infinite galaxies to explore, new planets to discover, and unique alien lifeforms to meet and get to know in the spirit of cosmic brotherhood. Plus the Star Trek crew had the best uniforms; and that’s very important because no matter what part of the universe you’re kicking around in, you should always look freshly pressed.

Ridley Scott sees outer space a bit differently. To Scott, who has directed such sci-fi classics as Alien and Blade Runner, space is a frightening hellhole where death is inevitable and horrors beyond your wildest imagination lurk around every dark and gloomy corner.

Scott’s latest sci-fi gorefest Prometheus continues this tradition, as the crew of the grand explorer ship Prometheus boldly go where no man has gone before only to get picked off one by one on some foreboding planet with no trees or flowers or green skinned slave girls for Captain Kirk to score with.

I really like Star Trek, okay?

In the year 2089, his and her archaeologists Elizabeth (Noomi Repace) and Charlie (Logan Marshall-Green) find a cave painting that proves the planet earth was invented by ancient space aliens, and they want us to visit them in a distant galaxy for a light lunch when we get a chance.

A few years later, Elizabeth and Charlie are on a long distance flight aboard the explorer ship Prometheus, which is commanded by the icy Vickers (Charlize Theron) and David (Michael Fassbender), an android who had that special chip installed that makes him extra creepy and homicidal.

There are other scientists and crew members aboard the ship, but there’s very little point getting to know them because this is a sci-fi horror movie and they’ll start dying in frightening ways very soon.

The Prometheus lands on a dark and foreboding  planet LV-223 near a gigantic building that is also dark and foreboding. As the science team explores the dark and foreboding corridors of  the structure, they find long dead alien corpses, cans of weird black slime, killer snake like creatures… you know, stuff that would make a sane person turn the big ass ship around and head back to planet earth at one zillion miles an hour.

But since it took them two years to reach the planet and some mysterious old guy (Guy Pearce) paid a lot of money to sponsor the trip, the super intelligent scientists decide the best course of action is to stay very close to the danger and ignore the homicidal android as he goes out of his way to ensure that even more people die horribly.

I’m not going to give away any more of the plot of Prometheus, but if you’ve seen Alien, which this movie is clearly a prequel to, you know what’s going to happen.

Wait, I shouldn’t say that, since Ridley Scott and everyone involved with Prometheus has said this movie is not a prequel to Alien.

Prometheus is it’s very own movie; even though there are a ton of references to the characters and situations from Alien and it’s many sequels, and the plot and characters (like the freaking homicidal android) are almost identical, it’s not a prequel.

Nope. Not a prequel.

Oh, I just decided something – X Men: First Class is not a prequel to any of the other X Men movies! The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has nothing to do with any of the Lord of the Rings movies! Smallville had nothing to do with Superman!

Actually, that last one was right.

Anyway, if you like special effects laden horror movies with creepy monsters in space that aren’t like another special effects laden horror movie with creepy monsters in space movie, Prometheus is for you.

I you don’t like being lied to by esteemed British directors, I suggest you take your business elsewhere. Don’t have your heart broken! It’s not too late!


About Tom Levier

Tom is a New Jersey native who lived in New York City for a while, and is now back in the Garden State. He is creator and writer of Central Park: A Misguide, DVD Critics Corner!, and The Gallows. Please read, comment on, and subscribe to his blogs. It would make him very happy. When not writing, Tom enjoys making jewelry and other handmade items for his shop Cold Garage Creations. Check out his shop on Etsy!

Posted on January 29, 2013, in DVD, Horror, Movie Reviews, Movies, Netflix, Sci Fi Movies, Science Fiction, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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