Bigger Is Better! (Part Two)

In this continuing series, DVD Critics Corner looks at some really big things featured in some great (and not so great) movies. Once again, your opinion on what is “big” will probably differ, so feel free to make your own list and write about it in your blog. Copycat.

Part Two – All Creatures Great and Big!

The creatures that walk the earth and swim the sea are a wonder to behold. Some are strange and fearsome, some are noble and majestic, and some are absolutely delicious when served medium rare with a baked potato and your choice of soup or salad. But when some mad scientist starts messing with growth formulas or toxic waste is added to the local water supply, small things become big, and before you know it people are now part of an all you can eat salad bar that has those really tasty garlic croutons.

What I’m trying to say is, I skipped lunch.

So without further adieu, here are some little things that became big things thanks to the magic of movies!

What is it? Mutant Killer Ants

As Seen in: Empire of the Ants (1977)

Made Big By: Illegally dumped toxic waste

The Deal: Remember when you were a kid and you poured lemonade on every anthill in your yard? The ants remember. Oh they remember. Long story short, now they’re big and they hate you! When Joan Collins and and a cast of 70’s movie and TV stars get lost in a swamp, they find themselves up against a terror unlike anything Florida has ever seen! Until the Tampa Bay Rays showed up.

Defeated By: Fire. Lucky for the survivors Joan Collins had that huge magnifying glass in her purse!

What is it? Giant Crab

As Seen In: Mysterious Island (1961)

Made Big By: Captain Nemo’s bizarre experiments

The Deal: Mmmmm. The castaways who wash up on the mysterious island from the movie’s title don’t know how good they have it! Tasty, succulent crabs running around the beach – who could ask for anything more? Granted, the crabs are the size of a Winnebego, but with the right weapons and a few beers in you, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish! So warm up those cheddar bay biscuits, it’s time for a crabfest!

Defeated By: Boiling pool of water from nearby volcano. Sadly, there were no giant cows on the island, so the surf and turf buffet was canceled.

 What is it? Big ol’ gator

As Seen In: Alligator (1980)

Made Big By: Eating pet corpses laced with growth formula. Seriously.

The Deal: Alligators live in the sewers. It’s not an urban legend. It’s real. So don’t flush that baby alligator you bought at the pet store. You’ll be sorry. Also, never combine pop rocks and soda. Your head will blow up.

Defeated by: Explosives, because Paul Hogan was unavailable.

What is it? Hulk Dogs

As Seen In: Hulk (2003)

Made Big By: A crazy-ass Nick Nolte

The Deal: I seriously doubt the Dog Whisperer guy would be able to teach these pooches to sit, stay, and stop eating people. It’s bad enough Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) transforms into a huge green monster when he gets cheesed off, but he also has to deal with his unhinged father (Nick Nolte) and his pack of mutated mutts! And you thought your Dad was a jerk when he erased your Fringe episodes from the DVR!

Defeated by: Hulk smash! What else?

What is it? Giant Space Spiders

As Seen In: The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

Made Big By: Outer space

The Deal: The giant spiders in this movie weren’t mutated to monstrous size by an atomic bomb or a mad scientist’s formula, they came that way from space. Which means there’s probably a planet out there with really big people who can crush these spiders with their giant newspapers. Nah, that can be possible. Nobody reads newspapers.

Defeated By: The closing of an dimensional gateway which drains the spiders of their cosmic energy and… It was a giant newspaper!

What is it? Bunnies!

As Seen In: Night of the Lepus (1972)

Made Big By: Yet another movie scientist who has no idea how to make a serum that does what it’s supposed to do!

The Deal: Awwwwww, so fluffy and lethal. If I had to pick what giant mutant animal would overrun my town and mercilessly slaughter everyone in it, it would be a rabbit hands down. They’re so darn cuddly, you almost don’t mind being trampled and eaten by one of them! I’m kidding of course, it would probably be a horrible way to die.

Defeated By: Angry townspeople with guns. And that’s why I can never return to Flagstaff…

Goodnight, everybody!

Click here to read part one of Bigger Is Better! 


About Tom Levier

Tom is a New Jersey native who lived in New York City for a while, and is now back in the Garden State. He is creator and writer of Central Park: A Misguide, DVD Critics Corner!, and The Gallows. Please read, comment on, and subscribe to his blogs. It would make him very happy. When not writing, Tom enjoys making jewelry and other handmade items for his shop Cold Garage Creations. Check out his shop on Etsy!

Posted on October 1, 2012, in Fiction, Horror, Humor, Movies, Netflix, Reviews, Sci Fi Movies, Science Fiction, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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