Master of Puppets
For years they have remained silent. Watching. Waiting.
We thought they’d never return. We thought we were safe.
We thought wrong.
That’s right, The Muppets are back!
The Muppets (2011) Directed by: James Bobin Starring: Jason Segal, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper Rating: PG because Kermit says the “S” word a few times. (Just kidding. But seriously, how funny would it be if he did?)
The last time The Muppets were together on the big screen was way back in 1999.
The year the world fell in love with Jar Jar Binks, the Cleveland Browns finished 2-14 in the AFC Central Division, and newly elected president Hugo Chavez introduced crazy to the people of Venezuela.
A lot has changed since then, and a very important question is raised that is the central theme to this new Muppet adventure: Do Kermit the Frog and company still have the old razzle dazzle that made them so popular? Do they still have what it takes to entertain the masses in the new millenia?
Does Gonzo still have have an unhealthy attachment to chickens?
He does. Ya know, even by puppet standards, you have to admit that’s kinda weird…
In The Muppets, Jason Segal (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) stars as lovable doofus Gary who grew up adoring The Muppets and all of their shows and movies with his brother Walter (Peter Linz).
It should be noted that Walter is a muppet himself. It’s never discussed why Walter is a muppet in a family of humans; I’m guessing Gary’s Mom had a fling down on Sesame Street or something, but this is a family blog, so we’ll move on.
Anyhoo, Walter, Gary, and Gary’s best gal Mary (Amy Adams, who’s packed with more perkiness then a whole truckload of Reese Witherspoons) visit the Muppet Studios in Hollywood, and when they find the place broken down and nearly abandoned, they track down a reclusive Kermit the Frog and convince him to reunite the old gang to put on a show and save the crumbling studio before it’s bulldozed by an evil tycoon (Chris Cooper).
All he beloved characters easily step back into their old roles: Fozzy craps all over the institute that is American comedy, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem act stoned, Beaker gets physically abused by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and Miss Piggy has more issues than National Geographic.
The film features oodles of cameos by big name stars like Whoopi Goldberg, Neil Patrick Harris, Jim Halpert from The Office, and political consultant James Carville, who actually looks like a muppet these days; and not one of the cute Fraggle Rock muppets, we’re talking one of the effing scary Dark Crystal muppets. Your face frightens small children, Carville.
But it’s all for fun as the muppets sing and dance their way back into our hearts, reminding us of the good old days when The Muppet Show was still on the air; a glorious time when kids sat too close to the TV and ate tons of saccharine while wearing highly flammable polyester pant suits.
I honestly think my parents were trying to kill me.
In summation, The Muppets is a great trip down memory lane. So enjoy the ride as Kermit the Frog and pals entertain you. And try not to think about whether Gary’s Mom had sex with a muppet.
You can’t not think about it now, right?
Isn’t that weird?