Help Me, Tom Cruise!

Mission:Impossible – Ghost Protocol (2011) 

Director: Brad Bird Starring: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton Rating: PG-13 for things blowing up and the fighting with the punching and the kicking…

Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol is the fourth installment in the M.I. series starring Tom Cruise as superspy Ethan Hunt.  A lot has happened in this movie franchise since the first film, so let’s bring everyone up to speed:

In Mission: Impossible Ethan Hunt runs, wears masks, hangs from some wires, kills Jon Voight.

In Mission: Impossible II, Hunt runs, rides motorcycles, wears masks, boinks Thandie Newton. Note: M.I. 2 was directed by John Woo, so there are endless gunfights and doves flying around for no flipping reason.

In Mission: Impossible III, Hunt runs, rescues his wife, wears masks, and finally returns the ring to Mt. Doom.

Wait, isn’t that Lord of the Rings? Or is it Harry Potter… Is there a ring in Harry Potter? I’ll get back to you on that.

In MI-GP,  Hunt is asked to save the world once again when Russian nuclear launch codes are stolen by Cobalt, a mystery man who wants to detonate a few nuclear bombs and start World War III because he’s read the Bond villain playbook.

Hunt and his support team; Jane the hot female agent (Paula Patton) and Benji the comic relief tech guy (Simon Pegg) sneak into the Kremlin to dig up a file on Cobalt, but since Cobalt is a villain, he turns the Kremlin into a big ass crater, making sure the IMF guys are blamed for the destruction.

So like in the previous movies, Hunt is placed on the “disavowed” list, which I assume cuts off his daily meal per diem and cancels his membership to the Impossible Mission Force Spa and Fitness Club.

Determined to stop a nuclear war and clear their names, the team along with an IMF analyst (Jeremy Renner) they picked up in Moscow head to Dubai where Hunt climbs up the side of the tallest building in the world for some reason, then they jet to Mumbai where they infiltrate a fancy cocktail party so Jane can wear a slinky dress because she’s the hot female agent.

A brief sidebar here – how is it a group of fugitives wanted for bombing the Kremlin are able to fly from country to country unnoticed while I have to endure two pat downs and a strip search just to fly to Orlando? And why can’t I take my bottle hand sanitizer on board?

Anyway, there’s plenty of chases, car crashes, and death defying stunts throughout MI-GP as Hunt and his team thwart the bad guys, stop nuclear Armageddon, and get their names put  back on the IMF “everything is dandy” list.

Fantastic. I bet they won’t have to check their carry-on bag when they fly back to America either.

You suck, Jet Blue!

MI-GP is ably directed by Brad Bird, whose previous credits include the Pixar films The Incredibles and Ratatouille. It’s kind of appropriate that Bird has experience in computer animation because Tom Cruise is so digitally airbrushed in this movie he’s starting to look like a CG character.

A couple more more Mission: Impossible films, and the Tom Cruise 2.0 program should be complete!


About Tom Levier

Tom is a New Jersey native who lived in New York City for a while, and is now back in the Garden State. He is creator and writer of Central Park: A Misguide, DVD Critics Corner!, and The Gallows. Please read, comment on, and subscribe to his blogs. It would make him very happy. When not writing, Tom enjoys making jewelry and other handmade items for his shop Cold Garage Creations. Check out his shop on Etsy!

Posted on May 11, 2012, in Action Movies, DVD, Humor, Movie Reviews, Movies, Netflix, Reviews and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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