This Was In My Netflix Instant Queue: He-Man & She-Ra A Christmas Special
I was in a bit of a funk this past weekend. The grey and dismal late January weather coupled with queasiness in the stomach (Note to self: never order the Surf & Turf at the Sunoco APlus market again!) left me in a state of ennui somewhere between a Smiths fan and that crying Packers chick I saw on Youtube.
After a few seconds of soul searching and punching up a brief list of my symptoms on Web MD, I figured out why I was so monumentally bummed – post holiday blues. I missed the brightly colored lights on the Douglas Fir, opening presents with family on Christmas morning, and ringing in the new year in the company of my closest and drunkest friends.
Perhaps watching a Christmas special would pick up my spirit up off the floor where it lay between the box of photos I’ve been meaning to scan into my computer and the unused kettle ball. So I checked my Netflix instant queue and found a special I forgot to watch in December:
He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special is a crossover episode featuring the casts of the He-Man and She-Ra series, a group of incredibly stupid people who still have not caught on to the fact that Adam and Adora make no freaking attempt whatsoever to hide that they are He-Man and She-Ra, respectively. Was Eternia low on masks or something? At least Superman was willing to give glasses a try when he was in Kent mode!
Anyway, as the story opens Eternia is gearing up for the big birthday extravaganza for Prince Adam and twin Sister Princess Adora, which coincidentally falls on Christmas Day. Freakishly annoying comic relief character Orko stows away on a spy ship Man-At-Arms launches into space. Skelator and his dopey minions try to intercept the ship, but are stopped by He-Man and She-Ra and She-Ra’s magic horse who sounds like a modern day Al Pacino. Orko tries to fly the spy ship but it crashes on Earth, which is apparently just a few subway stops from Eternia.
On Earth Orko meets Miquel and Alisha, whose parents think it’s perfectly fine to let them go out and look for a Christmas tree somewhere near the Arctic Circle. The kids tell Orko all about Christmas and how wonderful it is, and since the only holidays on Eternia involve worshiping the poofy Prince Adam, he gives up space magic and converts to Christianity on the spot.
He-Man and the other Mattel action figures devise a plan to set things right. She-Ra fights a huge water lizard and then some transforming robots (who are not enough like the Transformers to warrant a lawsuit from Hasbro) to secure a magic crystal which will power Man-At-Arms’ transport beam that will bring Orko and the ship back. The plan succeeds, and the transport beam retrieves the space craft and Orko – with Miguel and Alisha in tow! Rather than kill the little earthlings and move on with their lives, Adam and Adora decide to help them celebrate Christmas until the transport beam is recharged.
Meanwhile this evil green cloud Horde Prime, fearing this newly arrived “Christmas Spirit” will somehow destroy his power, orders Hordak and Skelator to capture the earth kids. But since Skelator and Hordak are the Bill and Ted of syndicated weekday cartoon villains, He-Man and She-Ra are soon onto their plot and with the help of some bizarre creatures called the Machines (a frightening mix of robot and Smurf, I shit you not) they thwart the bad guys plans and throw one heck of an Eternian Christmas Party!
Miguel and Alisha are beamed home to their parents who don’t seem to mind that their kids have been missing for several days. Adam, Adora, and all their pals continue to party down, enjoying the spirit of joy and goodwill they feel thanks to that awesome Earth holiday – Christmas!
Surprisingly, He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special relieved me of my case of the mopes; by reminding me of how much I despised the entire Masters of the Universe TV series and line of toys when I was a kid. And that long dormant hatred for He-Man and his pals will keep me warm for days, maybe weeks to come.
So I’m just aces now!
How have you been?